Questions,Questions
by Rei-Chandaichi
Summary: Hitsugaya is kidnapped by the women's association to ask him some questions.Please review & rate!
1. Kidnapping Toushiro

**Hi! This is ****my second fan fiction, so be nice :)  
Disclaimer: I do not own bleach. If I did, it would be so much cooler xD  
Well, that's about it, please enjoy!  
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**

Hitsugaya was sitting in his office, doing his paperwork.  
Knock Knock.  
'Come in' he said, with no expression.

'Hello Taicho!' His fuku-taicho cried, with some paperwork in her hand.

'What is it matsumoto?' he asked, barely believing she was carrying paperwork with her to hand in.

'Well, I was uh..wondering if..uh..'

'Just give it over.' He said, it was obvious that she wanted him to do her paperwork.

'Thanks taicho!' she said happily. 'But that's not what I was going to say.'  
He instantly regretted taking her paperwork.

'I was wondering if you could you could please fill in for me at the shinigami women's associ-

'No' he replied immediately.  
'Oh please??' She begged.

'I said no!' he shouted, getting annoyed now.  
'I'll give you candy!' she said

'I'm not a child for god's sake!' he said, even more annoyed.  
'Fine then, you gave me no choice' she said huffing, her hands on hips.

Rangiku arrived at the meeting.  
'Rangiku-san, weren't you supposed to bring you-know-who?' Nanao asked, curious.

'I wouldn't forget at all!' Rangiku cried, pulling out her tied up and blindfolded

taicho.  
'matsumoto, untie this minute! Where the hell are we anyway?!' he shouted, huffing.  
'Oh you'll see…' she said, smiling.  
She untied her taicho, who was really annoyed now.  
'Sit over there, and we'll explain' she said, pushing him down on a chair'  
'W-where am !? and why the hell are there so many women?' he said, blushing slightly.  
'There are loads of questions we want to ask, and we need a man's point of view. Luckily we managed to bring you here!' Rangiku said, smiling.  
'This is fucked up…' muttered a very annoyed Hitsugaya now.  
'Please answer all our questions Hitsugaya taicho' Nanao said modestly.

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That's the first chapter! ^-^  
I know it's short but please review and post questions so I can carry on to the next chapter!! Otherwise, I can't carry on! :0**

**  
Peace!**


	2. The Questions

**Hey again! Thanks for all the questions and reviews, now I can start the new chapter!  
****Disclaimer****: Once again, I don't own bleach sadly. Wish I did, but unfortunately I'm too busy with school to go to Japan and take over bleach :P  
Well, hope ya like it!**

'Ooh, I have an idea!' said Rangiku, exited.  
'What is that, Rangiku-san?' asked Nanao.  
'We handcuff him, and then we put a lie detector on him!' Cried Rangiku, jumping up and down with excitement.  
'Good idea, Rangiku-san' Said Nanao.  
Soon, Hitsugaya was tied up and a small lie detector was fixed onto him.  
**  
**'First question!' Yelled Rangiku in Toushiro's ear.  
'Fine fine, you over there.' Said Toushiro, giving up, pointing at a girl at the back.  
'A-are Ichimaru and Rangiku-san really you're parents?' asked the small girl.  
'Well, she's right in front of you, ask her.' Said Toushiro, annoyed by such a dumb question.  
'Actually taicho…' said Rangiku, looking away.

'Matsumoto…you couldn't possibly…' stared Hitsugaya in disbelief.  
'Ahahaha! Your face was priceless taicho!' cried Matsumoto, laughing her head off.  
'Matsumoto!' screamed Toushiro, he actually believed her for a second there.  
'I'm sorry, sorry!' she laughed happily.  
He huffed annoyed. 'Anyway, back to where we were.' Said Nanao.  
'Question 2!' yelled Rangiku once again.  
'That girl over there, the one with orange hair.' Described Toushiro, since he couldn't point at them anymore.  
'Can you speak any foreign languages?' perked up the orange-haired girl.  
'Uhh…I know some Spanish and French' replied Toushiro, this was getting quite easy.  
'Ooh can you say some? Please Taicho!' pleaded the fuku-taicho, giving him puppy eyes.  
'Okay okay! Just stop making that face, old women can't act cute.' Saying it as if it was a matter-of-factly.  
'Puedo hablar español fluido*' He said, without a single mistake.

*Viewers note, I can't speak Spanish, I used Babel fish. By the way, he said 'I can speak Spanish fluently'

'Wow…' said all the women In awe.  
'And also,' said Hitsugaya.

'Je peux parler français couramment' Said Hitsugaya once again.  
*Once again, this says 'I can speak French fluently'

All the shinigami women gazed at him in awe.  
'Amazing taicho…' said Rangiku, gaping at him.  
'Please, can we move on?' said Toushiro, wanting this to end.  
'Righty-ho!' said Rangiku happily.  
'Uh…Hinamori, you can have a turn.' Said Hitsugaya.  
'A-ah...good.' said Hinamori, blushing a tiny bit. Her question was quite...different.

'Hitsugaya do you…can I use the word 'love' here?' she asked around.  
'Hinamori…' he said annoyed. They'd already been through this.  
'Sorry, Hitsugaya-kun.' Said Hinamori guiltily.  
'Ooh, do you love Hinamori taicho?' asked Rangiku gleefully.  
'No!' he said, blushing.  
'Let's move on.' Said Nanao.  
A little girl perked up. 'What do you think about substitute shinigami??'  
'I think there a pain in the ass, especially that Kurosaki.' Said Toushiro, annoyed.  
'I have a question' said Nanao. 'How'd you keep your hair spiked up like that?'  
He paused for a second 'It just spikes up like that naturally. Nothing to it really.'  
'Kyouraku-taicho said you used gel' said Nanao.  
'He's an idiot then' said Toushiro. Nanao shut up immediately.  
'I have a question!' said a woman, with a huge rack.  
'What do men really think about thongs?'

'T-thongs..?' said Toushiro, blushing like mad.  
'W-well…d-dongs, I mean thongs!' said Toushiro, he was so embarrassed he got muddled up.  
'I guess…There just pants?' he said. The lie detector beeped.  
'Taicho you're lying!' cried Rangiku. 'Tell us really!'  
'W-well…I don't think this but…I guess there sexy?' said Toushiro, turning his head in shame.  
A lot of the girls around the room squealed.  
'Ahem!' said Nanao loudly. The room went silent.  
A yaoi fan-girl stuck her hand up.  
'People pair you up with Aizen, Gin, Ukitake, Renji and Ichigo. What would you say about that?'  
'I say those people should get a life.' He growled. That was the most annoying question out of all of them. Well maybe, the thong one was worse.  
'Right, I want to ask one.' Said Rangiku.  
'Would flat-chested women wear bikini's or one pieces?' she asked innocently.  
'Well…it depends really…if that girl was like sexy, for example you- he stopped. He couldn't believe he just spilled out the truth.  
'Taicho! You think women are sexy too!' said Rangiku in shock.  
'N-no! It's not like that!' cried Toushiro, nearly in tears.  
Suddenly Rukia went in. She looked at Toushiro who was in tears, and all the women asking him questions.  
'Hitsugaya-taicho! Are you okay!?' she said, running over to him.  
'Does it look like it?!' said Toushiro, trying to wipe tears away with his shoulder.  
'We have to carry on asking questions! Don't ruin our fun Rukia!' cried Rangiku, throwing Rukia out.  
'Anyway!' said Rangiku.  
'Would you eat candy if it was watermelon flavored?' asked Kiyone.  
'That's off the topic!' cried Hitsugaya, still crying.  
'Fine then. Why don't you threat Rangiku-san if she doesn't do paperwork? You are the boss y'know…' said Kiyone.  
'I don't know why the hell I don't!' cried Toushiro; he was too upset to give any decent answers anymore.  
Nanao sighed. This was starting to get out of hand.

**_____________________________________________________________  
Finsihed!  
By the way, thank you for everyone giving ****me** **the questions! Really appreciated it! But I may not update soon, I already got detention twice for not doing ho****mew****ork, so I have to start doing it! But I will update as quick as possible! Keep those questions rollin' in! Sorry if this chapter wasn't too good btw, I rushed it :P**

Peace!!  



	3. Newcomers To Share The Burden

**Hey All!  
Sorry I haven't been able to update for a while, school is HELL.  
Anyway, hope you all like it!**

'Right, next question!' said Nanao.  
'Oooh wait Nanao!' said Rangiku, running out of the room. Seconds later she came, pulling along with her a tied up Hisagi and Kira.  
'What on earth…?' said Nanao questioning her.  
'I don't think we should let taicho suffer alone!' Said Rangiku cheerfully.  
A few minutes later, there sat Hisagi and Kira next to Toushiro, wired up on two more lie detectors.  
'What the freakin' hell are you doing Rangiku-san?!' cried Hisagi, he was always scared of what the Women's Association would do to him next.  
'If you don't be quiet, I'll release the fan girls on all three of you!' Rangiku said evilly. All three of them let out a high-pitched scream.  
'W-we won't say anything!' cried Kira, almost having a nervous break-down.  
'Well let us carry on!' Said Rangiku happily.  
A girl from the back chirped up.  
'Hisagi-san, why do you have that tattoo on your cheek?'  
'Does it matter?' he said, annoyed. Rangiku mouthed about the fan girls and he freaked out.  
'W-well, i-it's in remembrance of someone!!' he said quickly, those fan girls were scary.  
'Hitsugaya-kun! I have a question!' Said a little girl at the front.

'Its Hitsugaya-taicho to yo-' He suddenly got electrocuted.  
He jumped up in surprise, an electric current racing through his body.  
'Oww!!' Who did that?!' he yelled, really angry now.  
Rangiku giggled. 'There's an electrocution button!' she cried, laughing her head off.  
'Matsumoto!' he yelled at her, if his hands weren't tied up he would've ripped her hair out.  
'Hey, what's all this screaming here?' said someone who had just came in.  
A tall man, standing in the doorway, bright orange hair and overly sized Zanpaktou on his back.  
'Kuro…' said Toushiro, looking up to him.

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*gasp* who could it be?!  
I think I gave you enough clues there xD  
Anyway, find out what there going to do to this mysterious person!  
Peace!!  
**


	4. Interogation

**Hey again!  
Wow I can't believe ****I'****m updating so soon! But then again I was ill today so I didn't go to school :P  
Anyhoo, enjoy!  
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'Oooh who's here to join our fun??' said Rangiku, turning around to see the person in the doorway.  
'Ichigo! Ichigo help us now!! We need your help!!' cried all three of the poor men to Ichigo.  
'Hm?' thought Ichigo as he walked in properly. The look on his face was hard to explain.  
(it looked kinda like this O.o :P)  
'Toushiro?! Hisagi and Kira?! What the hell is going on?!' he yelled at them.  
'It was them! Themm!!!' cried Hisagi who was madly trying to gesture at the women, but failing.  
Ichigo, realizing what he meant started walking over to Rangiku, but suddenly a small child with pink hair bounced onto him.  
'Ichi-kun! Don't ruin our fuun!!' she cried, strangling him.  
'Gaaaak! Okay I won't!' he yelled, throwing the pink fur ball off him. 'I'm gonna go tell Ukitake-taicho about this, and he'll- before her could finish his sentence, about 15 women were on top of him.  
'Uggh fangirls! Gerroff!!' he yelled, but no one even tried to help.  
After about two minutes, he also was tied up next to Toushiro, Hisagi and Kira.  
'Now that's sorted out, let's carry on!' said Rangiku cheerfully.  
'I have a question for whitey-chaan!' said Yachiru. 'Did you lose your virginity to Kusaka-san?!'  
Toushiro glared at Yachiru. He wanted to rip that little _thing _into pieces!  
'No I didn't' he said as calmly as he could.  
'Weelll, have you lost your virginity??' She asked once more.  
'No I Havent!!' he yelled back.  
'I have a question taicho!' said a little girl at the back, who happened to be in his squad.  
'Are you gay, bi, or straight?' she asked him, giggling.  
'I'm straight you moron. Extra paperwork for you.' He said, annoyed.  
'I think we should give Hitsugaya-taicho a break.' Said Nanao, as Toushiro sighed relivingly. 'Kurosaki, I have a question for you. When Rukia was in your closet, did you do anything with her?'  
'NO I DIDN'T YOU SICK PEOPLE!' screamed Ichigo as all the people there were laughing.  
'Okay Okay! I have a question!' called out Rangiku. 'What do you think about having Byakuya-san as your brother-in-law?'  
'Hmm..' That question wasn't so hard, until he realized what they meant.  
'No way! Don't go there!' yelled Ichigo.  
'Okay, that's enough Rangiku.' Said Nanao, giving her death glares.  
'Okay Kira, you were so inconsolable when Gin left, did you have anything other than a friendship or were you upset about something else?' she asked.  
Kira looked at her. 'Of course it wasn't something other than friendship! I was just annoyed that they had been betraying us all this time. That's all…' said Kira, before almost having a nervous break-down.  
Hisagi looked at Kira, wanting to pat his back but he couldn't. he started fidgeting a bit to get out of these handcuffs.  
'Hold it right there Hisagi! I have a question! What do you think about me?' she asked questionably.  
'Well..' he realized this was time for revenge… 'Well, your uhh…an old hag, lazy, selfish and an idiot!' said Hisagi, grinning.  
Rangiku probably went redder than Renji's hair. She started walking over to him with shadows over her eyes. Hisagi never looked more scared in his life. She jumped onto him and literally beat him to a pulp. Nanao looked at them for a second, then decided to move on.  
'Hitsugaya-taicho, please answer truthfully, why are you so short?' she asked.  
'Well...I have no idea.' He said, actually thinking about that question for a minute.  
A fangirl of his jumped up. 'And why are you so adorable!?!?' she cried, jumping onto him and knocking down the chair which he was sitting on. He screamed 'Get her off me!'  
Nemu, who was standing at the back, smiled slightly. There plan was working, this was so fun.

**Fuu~  
Finally Finished! Sorry I couldn't use all your questions, this was just a PORTION of them lol  
Anyway, I have to be getting on with other stories :P  
Toodles~**


	5. We Showed mercy

**Hello Again!  
Updating ****ti****me! Wow I've updated about 3 times this week :P  
Anyhoo, let us begin!**

Toushiro and the others were all going out of there mind. Especially Toushiro, since he was the one who was there longest.  
'Killmenowkillmenowkillmenow' mumbled Toushiro over and over again.  
'Wait!' said Rangiku 'Before we do kill you, we have to finish asking you our questions!'  
'W-what are they?' asked Toushiro, stuttering the words as he spoke.  
'Who would you marry in your life?'  
'N-no one if all women are this cruel!' said Toushiro, shaking like a leaf.  
'Hmm Rangiku-san, I think that we should stop asking Toushiro questions, he might have a seizure.' Said Nanao, raising her glasses.  
'Ohh well then! Lets ask the others questions!' said Rangiku cheerfully.

A little girl perked up. 'Kurosaki-san, why do you scowl so much?'  
Kurosaki glared at the girl. 'It's not my fault that everyone around me is so damn annoying!' he shouted. 'Ichigo, don't be so cruel to the little girl!' said Rangiku, whacking Ichigo across the head.  
'Oh I have a question.' Said Nemu, at the back.  
'Kira, are you emo?' she asked.  
'W-well, I guess...not? Hopefully not…' he said. He found Nemu quite frightening actually.  
'Ichigo, I have two questions for you!' said Yoruichi, who was standing next to him.  
'What do you think of Rukia?' she asked suspiciously.  
'She's…just a friend…' replied Ichigo, looking away. The lie detector beeped. Everyone in the room squealed with delight. Ichigo blushed crazily. 'It's not like that! I never liked her!' yelled Ichigo, blushing a deep crimson.  
'Okay okay!' Yoruichi said, chuckling a little before stopping. 'Next question; Your father had black hair like Karin, and your hair is orange because of your mum, why does Yuzu have blonde hair?'  
'What's the colour of the mailman's hair?' asked Rangiku. Everyone in the room burst out laughing, even the fellow men couldn't help but smile.  
Ichigo didn't get it. Then he finally realized. 'Stop joking around you morons! I hate you all!' he cried, his eye twitching with annoyance.  
'Right, I think we should let Ichigo and Toushiro-san go now. We don't want to be the blame of any mental illnesses now.' Said Nanao, walking over to Toushiro and Ichigo, untying them.  
Both of them ran out of the room in a speed of light, no one even noticed them go out of the room.  
'Hey, how about us?!' said Hisagi angrily. 'We still haven't finished with you two…' said Rangiku evilly.

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Ooh what's gonna happen?! Sorry this chapter is kinda short.  
Well, I think after the next chapter this story is finished…Hey, it's gotta finish someday!  
Anyway don't fret, because I'm starting another funny story!  
Soo, Bye!**


	6. Epilouge

**Hey guys!  
Last chapter T_T, well, the epilogue, so its ****mega short  
Anyway, enjoy!**

'I think..' said Nanao 'That we should release them now.'  
'Awwww but whyyy???' whined matsumoto 'We haven't even started with them!'

'Well,' said Isane 'The shinigami are getting suspicious where they are.'  
matsumoto moaned a little more, but eventually started untying them.  
'Finally!' gasped Hisagi, jumping out of his seat. Kira followed him quickly out aswell.

Hitsugaya was sat In his office, doing paperwork. He had also locked the door and nailed it shut, and forbidden Rangiku to ever talk to him again.  
So, in the end, everyone was happy, well, Hitsugaya is physiologically scarred for life, Ichigo is mental, Kira has nervous breakdowns and Hisagi is autistic, everything was back to normal.


	7. LE NOTE

**HI! **

**It's me again, haha… I'm back!**

**I bet no one at all missed me .w.**

**SO. I will be continuing my stories as soon as my tests are up, which is around 23****rd**** of May~ How would you all like that? Oh, and would any of you like me to do a sequal to Toushiro's Misfortune? Let me know! I really missed this place!**

**-Reichandaichi~ :3**


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